Joey Michaels (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
joeymichaels) wrote2016-10-14 01:19 pm
joeymichaels) wrote2016-10-14 01:19 pm
Ten Year Olds, Dude
“I’ll be dating her in 10 years. Can you believe it?”
Some of you might remember my formula for calculating appropriate ages a person can date without meeting societal disapproval. Basically, take your own age,divided it in half and add 7. For example, I'm 48 so the youngest person I can date without ooging people out is 31. I think that's reasonable. Yeah Yeah age is just a number, but age difference can suggest power difference and a big power difference isn't always healthy in a romantic relationship.
Anyhow, so Trump is 70. Were he to be single again, I'd expect him to stuck to women 42 years and up.
When I first started teaching high school, I was 27 (lowest age range: 21). I had some male friends who said gross things like "oh you get to hand around wuth all those hot teenage girls." I was all like "what the fuck?"
The first year I was teaching, I had to chaperone the prom. One of the 18 year old women (lowest age for date: 16; highest age: 22) arrived with her 30 year old boyfriend (low: 22, high 46). He was older than me and wanted to sit with the chaperones, not his girlfriend's friends. Sorry, dude, you date a teenager, you have to hang out with teenagers.
I get being attracted to youth especially as I get older but i don't get why you'd want to date somebody that had almost no shared life experiences - and almost no experience at life. This if what that formula is partially about - the range of people you can date expands as you get older and theta greater odds of shared life experience and shared power levels.
I know every relationship is different and maybe there's some March/December romances out there that work perfectly well. The thought of a 50+ year old man bragging about dating a ten year old when she ages up to 20, however, squicks me out.
Some of you might remember my formula for calculating appropriate ages a person can date without meeting societal disapproval. Basically, take your own age,divided it in half and add 7. For example, I'm 48 so the youngest person I can date without ooging people out is 31. I think that's reasonable. Yeah Yeah age is just a number, but age difference can suggest power difference and a big power difference isn't always healthy in a romantic relationship.
Anyhow, so Trump is 70. Were he to be single again, I'd expect him to stuck to women 42 years and up.
When I first started teaching high school, I was 27 (lowest age range: 21). I had some male friends who said gross things like "oh you get to hand around wuth all those hot teenage girls." I was all like "what the fuck?"
The first year I was teaching, I had to chaperone the prom. One of the 18 year old women (lowest age for date: 16; highest age: 22) arrived with her 30 year old boyfriend (low: 22, high 46). He was older than me and wanted to sit with the chaperones, not his girlfriend's friends. Sorry, dude, you date a teenager, you have to hang out with teenagers.
I get being attracted to youth especially as I get older but i don't get why you'd want to date somebody that had almost no shared life experiences - and almost no experience at life. This if what that formula is partially about - the range of people you can date expands as you get older and theta greater odds of shared life experience and shared power levels.
I know every relationship is different and maybe there's some March/December romances out there that work perfectly well. The thought of a 50+ year old man bragging about dating a ten year old when she ages up to 20, however, squicks me out.
no subject
I could talk about this sort of thing at length, because power dynamics and large age gaps are things that can and do bother me, especially when relating them to other people, and certain women I perceive as not being mature enough to understand the power inequality. And yet... yet I'm someone who has personally not stuck within your formula. When I was 17, my first boyfriend was 23 or 24. The first guy I ever kissed, again when I was 17, was 28. And I went into both of those things knowing I wanted to. I didn't think I was pressured into it. I think I've had a history of feeling more mature than other people my own age, though, which is how that happened. Although nowadays I tend to mainly look for partners who are in their 30s, or maybe mid-late 20s, so they're closer to my own age (32, what?)
"The thought of a 50+ year old man bragging about dating a ten year old when she ages up to 20, however, squicks me out."
I would hope that would squick any decent person out.
no subject